ink on skin hurts

It's the 99th days that you chose to live your life without me.

Are you a little happier? I don't mind doing anything to see you being happier...

Tomorrow starting work already however I do not know why I feel rather upset today.

Missing you becomes like a daily routine...

If I ever sees you again, I'll make sure that I'm calm enough and give you the smile you used to see... In order to let you see that actually I'd moved on, though I haven't

Meeting Xp and Belle love up for Insidious movie! :D

marked

I thought drinking my sorrows away it might helps.

I'm wrong, it's only making things worst.

Keep trying stilll

.

.

.

new ink on wrist (:

Moving

Changing of URL link

I'll make it privatize blog from now for this blog...

To ensure that the one that I would leave the world of, will never get confuse and hear from me (:

With so much love

Comfort

Thanks love...

I am sorry

I know you are in agony too.

Probably I should just leave your world completely so you wouldn't be so confused...

One is someone so important to you, someone that actually you wanna spend your life with.

The other one is someone that will be there for you no matter what, me.

You'd made up your mind, I'll try to leave your life completely that you wouldn't be so confuse.

I'm sorry, I will keep trying I promised...

17th Oct 2009

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.

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20th Feb 2011

it's the most perfect memories you left for me.

I'll leave, so you wouldn't be living in agony.

With so much of loves...

20th May 2011

I didn't cry today.

Not today, staying strong putting up a strong front.

Yes, I made it...

I'm pondering, for the real reason of leaving...

I didn't want to guess, I'm afraid of guessing and got the truth in a way that I couldn't accept

Almost got knocked down by car on the way back home.

Not paying attention while crossing the road.

just in split second, I might be gone too...

87 days without you

Seventeen (:

I miss you so much still... Not hoping that you'll remember, just wanna let myself know that you meant a lot still...

Dreams

Yes, I dreamt of precious again!

We were just lying on the bed, hugging her to sleep.

Precious~ Mummy miss you ):

So much love though you are now in good hands of god.

I'll be there...

Guilt stricken

Had the most wonderful dreams and it followed by a dream that woke me up due to guilt...

We were walking at the beach hands in hands

you kneel down and asked for my hands.

Agreed and things went smoothly down the road...

Having you next to me every morning and a newly wed that everyone envies on.

A dream, it will never gonna happen...

Follows by

I dream of our little angel...

The guilt...

she asked me when she holds my hand

.

.

.

"Mummy, why Daddy and you doesn't even want me?"

Ended up I woke up crying all over.

Sighs, I shouldn't have.

So much of guilts left...

So much of things to let you know yet I'd no choice but to keep it in my heart.

Dreamt of you being with me still only stays in the dreams...

Reality is you already left.

I miss you little angel.

I'm sorry, I'd failed you...

since 20th March 2011

Walking the route we used to

Dr Loo told me there's a terrorist attack and it's at shipyard.

The first thing come into my mind and I asked him

.

.

.

NAVY?!?!

He replied no, shipyard.

I just let out a big sigh.

Phew, lucky.

曾经有你的承诺不让我心碎但是最伤我的人却是你...

Million pieces

I keep running non stop...

Realize actually I've been only trying to put those feelings and love aside.

Never even try, I don't know if I really did...

I tried, probably not hard enough.

Not enough that I will actually thought of you again and i broke down on my way walking back home.

Making sure that I cried finish before heading back home.

Sat down on the ground and keep crying...

Behaving like a little girl that had her knee scratched badly.

Why is it so hard for me to forget you, i only hope for not having you in my mind so often.

without you

No emotions

No feelings.

No love.

No more.

Everything purely ended abruptly.

I thought things will be better, however is one-sided all these while.

I'm like a fool, a fool that believes that things will get better eventually.

Big sigh!

I wouldn't mind, as long he's happy with whatever it is...

IMissY-ou

Still sick

Flu, and rough patches at work.

Thanks for the sweet thoughts from Dr Sia.

&

sweet o nothing from Dr Anthony :D

Loves being dotes on and praise on!

I'm moving on, cause I have to.

No particular reason, this is not even a good place to rant something more personal.

So ironic!

BYE

Unwell

Not knowing why my fever came back, flu bug came back too...

Heart just got real smashed yesterday.

I'm trying so hard yet I got this ending...

Beautiful. Thanks.

I'm a fool to you all these while...

Pain

Told him that i quarreled with dad,

he just replied in a way that makes me feel that I'm really all alone facing all these.

I'm not hiding, just that no longer have you to be there now.

Why give me such replies?

I don't need that! I still have to pretend to be fine after seeing those replies.

Is not my dad quarreling with me that hurts, not the broken family i have...

Is you who gave such replies. so upsets, so cold, so heartbroken....

.

Flu bugs

Out of sudden, around evening I started to sneeze non stop.

Having my nose running away and a start of throat sore.

I've been a good girl, drinking plain water as motivated.

Yet my immune system is failing on me,

that spells trouble..

Anyway was online the whole of today, hoping that he will talk to me.

But guessed what? Disappointment.

I risked it and I got the answer.

I hate falling sick now, cause in the past when I fall sick you will be there for me.

Making sure that I'm taken care of.

Now I don't even dare to tell my family that I actually not feeling well...

No point, cause no one bothers...

Just came back from late dinner.

Throat sore badly, sighs...

If only, you are here now...

Used to be my happy pills, love.

71 days

went for drinking on friday and didnt head back home.
Yesterday went out and drink again...

Numbed is the feeling...

Told him I actually miss him so much... He acknowledged it.. The end :/
Kinda sad though...
不知不觉要买杯面时, 就会不自然的买了两杯我们曾经爱吃的.. 但是现在只省我一个人... 好想你到缺氧...